13 May 2020
It has been exactly a year and two days since my dear grandma Lyuba, mother of my father, transitioned.
I can't believe how long it was, because I remember those last weeks before and days after her death very vividly and my heart is still grieving the difficulty of this loss. However, it has been already one year of healing, recovery and some discovery too
And what's amazing - I now know deep in my bones that what my grandma was, it did not disappear
. Her essence, her gifts, her love didn't dissipate in the air and be gone. The energy of a soul just can't be annulled. Yes, her life story as we knew it, superficial parts of her personalty and definitely her body has been dissipating, fusing with earth and becoming more like a mist than a solid human. But her energy, her core... is still very real.
Today I wish to share with you several messages
my grandma «told» me during this year.
I believe that receiving, recognizing and cherishing messages, signs and feelings from the other side is a very important part of the grieving and healing journey
, especially in the first years after someone's passing. It's how we adjust
to the new phase of our relationship and that's how we come back to our own lives.
That's why it is important to acknowledge
such experiences. Especially in our society where this is not considered a precious, natural or real practice. I suggest we shift this.
I suggest we stop doubting the invisible reality
and simply let ourselves feel the love between souls and embrace
the relief and healing we feel from such gifts from «the other side».
So, I have felt the presence of my dear grandma in various ways
. She sent signs (even very physical ones), she came to me in several very vivid dreams. She also occasionally gave me a message in my awake hours.
She also kept pouring her love towards us which I felt all these months. She did not stop loving us, heck no! And that is very mutual. Love between her and people who loved her has been moving back and forth, as far as I can feel with my intuitive senses.
What's important is that all those gifts from her I have experienced did not keep me stuck in the past, instead they helped me to go on and to start accepting that she is gone from this dimension
. And also grandma's messages helped me understand better what life beyond the life was like and what she might have been experiencing on her own journey forward.
So here are three messages from my grandma, and I hope they will lighten up your heart, inspire you and open you up for connecting with those souls who you miss connecting with.
Message one:We are not done talking to each other.
She told me that in one of vivid, almost lucid dreams I had with her since her transition. Each such dream was powerful and even a little wild.
In this particular dream she came to visit me in the house where I live. I tried not to open the door, because «grandma, you have died, you can't be here!». On that she replied: «We didn't have enough time to talk, so we are not done talking to each other!»
In our shared lifetime her and I could chat for hours and hours and only stop when we had to. There was always something interesting for us to discuss. My dad, her son, often teased us over how long and how much we talked when we would meet.
So it was delightful and a bit wild to hear her say that in a direct speech
that we are not done talking, despite her transition!
Next day I talked to my intuitive teacher about me grieving and the message teacher gave me was: «You are afraid that your communication has ceased, but it's not true. It continues».
Strangely, I didn't put two and two together - the dream and what teacher said - for quite some time, but when I finally did I was struck by this double confirmation within one day.
It felt so good to hear that. A bit painful, but also very, very healing.
Thank you, grandma. Thank you for this choice to keep connecting.
Message two:I am free from that.
«I am free from that» - grandma said, drawing my attention to a fragile elderly lady struggling to cross the road quickly enough. I was at the traffic lights, in my car, waiting for the green light, when a message from grandma dropped into my chest. It resonated. It gave me hope and even a glimpse of appreciation for what happened, for her death.
The thing is that in her human life grandma had issues with her health all her life, but remained active, positive and also very attuned to her own health needs. She self-treated a lot and she was disciplined enough to start exercising in her later years. She never really complained about her physical struggles, didn't make a big deal out of it, even though we were aware.
So to hear relief in her message was somewhat surprising, but also my own surprise «proved» to me that I was not making this up
. And I also felt gratitude that her experience has changed now. I even felt her letting me know that she is «now free to move». How amazing moving freely is, if you stop and think about it.
Message three:I have not lost anything, including you.
She shared that several months ago. A single «download» of a thought dropped into my head and my chest area. The message dropped in as a seed and then opened up like a bud into a flower - to showed me more details and depth of meaning.
Grandma explained (through that «download») that by leaving this life she did not lose anything - her experiences and memories were still real, important and available to her
. She still was all that she experienced and all she had been during this lifetime - from a baby girl to a grandma.
But also she showed me that she had not lost us - her family - either
. She said: «I can still see you anytime I want, I am still close and I can still give you my love. In a way, I have more «access» to you now than you think you have of me. I have not lost anything, including you». When I «heard» all that, I felt relief, I felt connection, I felt gratitude and I felt more peace
. Especially since a part of me also wondered what she had lost by her passing. And from what I heard and felt that day, she didn't lose anything or anyone. And boy, do I feel her love as I am typing this.
Messages and signs that souls (who love us) leave for us are not made up. Sometimes they may feel like we «make up» or «imagine» them. But if you actually
feel uplifted, if you feel the deep resonance in your heart or chest, or you are struck with some awe for a seemingly simple idea or sentence which came to you - that's how you have «proof» that it is real
. The way it affected you. Also our bodies register real energy, real love coming through and recognize the vibration of souls we love
. If it feels like from «grandpa» - then it is.
And if your brain is sometimes struggling to stop doubting such messages you may have received, then it's okay
. I doubt it all too sometimes. And sometimes I do that often.
Don't fight with yourself, choose what makes you feel more peaceful at the moment, what helps you received more love from life. But please remain curious and open
to the mysteries this life is fact has. And then one day maybe something powerful happens… and you will feel the unending reality of Love and life
Dear grandma, thank you for all the messages you gave me and for the messages I hope you will send me in the future. Thank you for amazing, sometimes crazy dreams you offer me to learn from and feel your presence. I am so blessed.Love you so much. I have not lost you too.
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